Did you know that verbally expressing your emotions can provide relief from the intensity of the emotion you are experiencing? It's no wonder that many of us struggle with emotions, if we are never taught how to identify or accurately describe our emotions. How often do we just say nothing while we're feeling intense emotions. Or burst out with expletives that are vague and overused. By the way, swearing has also been shown to support us when we're in pain, but that's a whole other story. Dr Jordan Peterson regularly talks about how verbal prowess offers us an advantage in life. Being able to reason and express ourselves with more clarity makes us powerful because being articulate enables the ability to relate to others and to stand up for ourselves to have our needs met.
When we are trying to feel more heard, validated, and supported, it has been shown to decrease the felt intensity of emotions, simply by naming the emotion. A study by Dr Lieberman et al., found that labelling the affect diminished the impact on the part of the brain that lights up in brain imaging fMRI scans when we feel emotions, the Amygdala (and other limbic regions). It looks like simply putting feelings into words can have an important impact on our ability to be with these feelings. Part of this, is because another part, the right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex, of the brain is used to process language and find words to associate with the emotion. This means that when that part lights up, we also get the added benefit of some of its other functions, including inhibition of behaviour and processing of emotions. Using language to speak out what we feel helps us get back to our reasonable mind.
(Anatomy of the Brain from John Hopkins Medicine )
In another study, authors Kennedy-Moore and Watson (2001) suggest that although not instantaneous, expressing our emotions can have the benefit of increases in self-acceptance, insight, or positive interpersonal impact. It makes sense, right? When we talk about how we feel, we may have an improved understanding of what's going on with us, which helps us have a bit more compassion for ourselves. Like we would for a friend. And when we can express how we feel to others, they can treat us with compassion too. As opposed to unknowingly contributing to our difficulty.
Using tools like the feelings wheel below can be helpful to develop a vocabulary for emotions, and to explore how you may feel in this moment. In some ways, this can be a form of mindfulness, which has also been shown to bring the prefrontal cortex online, and to turn down the amygdala response. More accuracy is recommended by experts like Dr Susan David, when it comes to expressing our emotions. If you can say "I'm dismayed", why would you rather say "I'm blue". Our language can let us down when we don't honor the emotional experience by using the correct name for it.
(Emotion & Feelings Wheel from Junto Institute for Entrepreneurial Leadership)
Some fabulous resources are available to help us get a better grip on our emotions, so that we can learn the words to use to describe them. Highly recommended books include How Do I Feel? by Wildling Books for a child-friendly, but also adult appropriate, book with a dedicated page for each emotion, with helpful illustrations and descriptions. For the more in-depth reader, Brene Brown's new book, Atlas of the Heart, gives the reader a map of where we go (which emotions arise) when we go through life's different scenarios.
If you're interested in learning how emotionally agile you are, you can also have a look at Dr Susan David's quiz.
So go on, how do you feel?
Resources:
University of California - Los Angeles. (2007, June 22). Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects In The Brain. ScienceDaily. Retrieved March 19, 2022 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/06/070622090727.htm
Stephens, Richard; Atkins, John; Kingston, Andrew Swearing as a response to pain, NeuroReport: August 5, 2009 - Volume 20 - Issue 12 - p 1056-1060
doi: 10.1097/WNR.0b013e32832e64b1 from https://journals.lww.com/neuroreport/Abstract/2009/08050/Swearing_as_a_response_to_pain.4.aspx
Kennedy-Moore, E., & Watson, J. C. (2001). How and When Does Emotional Expression Help? Review of General Psychology, 5(3), 187–212. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.5.3.187
https://www.thejuntoinstitute.com/emotion-wheels/
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